Ok peeps…I am about to bare all. Just lay it all out there so to speak!! I need to get healthy. I know, I know…we could all stand to get a little bit healthier. Well folks…this chick needs to get about 40lbs healthier. That is a lot of stinking extra weight to carry around on a frame that is 5’3 and ONE HALF inches tall!! I need that 1/2″ of height–it makes me thinner. Anyhow…Do you know what size I wear?!?!!? Seriously people…It’s unhealthy. Call me vain. Maybe I am. I don’t care. I don’t like how I feel and I don’t like I how look being this size. So you say “lose weight…exercise…eat right”. I KNOW THIS!!!!!! Everyone out there knows this. But here is the truth…it’s mentally hard. Physically yes…but mentally even more so. Every little thing on my body “moves” now when I exercise–I swear I need a “Body bra”… so that depresses me. My knees kill me when working out…so that depresses me. I have a bum shoulder. What did I do to it? Heck if I know. I think I hurt it pulling off clothes or something strenuous like that…so that depresses me. My back hurts no matter which way I turn…that depresses me. You would think I have been a smoker for my entire life by the lung capacity I have…so that depresses me. After any strenuous exercise…if more than 30 seconds my heart rate is in the high 180’s if not 190’s…so that depresses me…and wears me out. NONE…I mean NONE of my clothes fit. Guess what? That depresses me. Even cute workout clothes that used to give me motivation don’t fit…and that just makes me depressed. So before you tell me to quit whining, hear me out. I KNOW that these are all excuses that I use. But they are real. Being down on oneself is very real and very hard to snap out of. So it sort of starts a vicious cycle: try…fail…get depressed…try…fail…get depressed. OVER and OVER and OVER. I have laugh at it really. But let me clarify something. I am not depressed in that I can’t function…or ever be happy…or am thinking of suicide. I am not. I am depressed in that I just don’t like who I am right now. It affects my mood towards others. I am more reserved and stand-offish. I am less likely to joke around…and dang it I am hella funny. But that side of me is being overshadowed by this new boring blob. I am a tad sick of it actually. Soooo…I am gonna TRY again. I will post my stats every sunday including what I have lost in lbs and inches. I have started my Paleo “diet” as well. My hubby and I kicked off my caveman cuisine at Texas de Brazil last night! Meat, meat, and more meat. Plus some salad bar…No cheese!! Not even those super delicious balls of mozzarella that were staring me down. I swear I heard the goat cheese call my name. Sitting over there all pretty and soft right beside the golden brown crustinis!! Jerks!! Anyhow…I had salad, veggies, and meat. BUT…I did take a few small bites of the mashed potatoes. I am so ashamed!! But not really. Today I have eaten STRICTLY paleo…No cheese, milk, or bread!!! I swear though, when I hear my kiddos go pop open the Goldfish my mouth waters and my tummy aches. This must be what it feels like to be an addict. Or not. I dunno. But lets pretend.
So now I am sitting here drinking my water with my Young Living Lemon oil dropped in it. It’s good. I am motivated. Excited. And gonna take it day by day. And because you can’t make a blog post without a pic…here is my super yummy breakfast.
Stats: 40 lbs too heavy
Inches: too many